On Being a Ghost of the Sexiest Empire
by pingo1387
Summary: Grandpa Rome returns to Earth as a ghost for two days. Can he contact his beloved grandsons when he's in spirit form? Two-shot. **OLD**
1. Prologue

It is said that long ago on this earth, there lived a man who conquered the Mediterranean Sea and obtained all of the world's wealth. His name was Roman Empire. The world's wealth, fame, and vast land… they all belonged to him. But one day, the man who'd gained them all… simply disappeared.

And now, this once-great man was on his knees, begging a favor of God in the afterlife.

"Please," he exclaimed, "please let me go down one last time! I swear I'll be good!"

The great, omniscient and omnipresent being was silent. Finally it spoke: "You may go…"

Rome looked up. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you thank you thankyouthankyouthank—"

"…on one condition."

Rome froze.

"You will go in spirit form, not with your body as last time."

Rome relaxed. That was it? "Yes, that's fine," he exclaimed.

"You have… forty-eight hours to explore the modern world to your heart's content."

"Oh, thank you!" he cried. He would finally see both of his cute grandsons!

"I am sending you now," said the great being, and Rome felt himself drifting down, down…

* * *

Blinking, Rome attempted to take in everything he was seeing at once. People were inside these chariots that went faster than any horse, faster than two or three or even four horses; there were people talking into small black squares that they held to their ears, occasionally pausing and then talking again; and… ah! Could that be the Trevi Fountain? So it was still standing! He laughed to himself in wonder and amazement of this world.

Funnily enough, no one seemed to notice him; but he figured that they, too, were distracted by the wonders of this world. And speaking of others…

A bobbing curl of hair caught Rome's eye. Craning his neck over the crowd, he could make out two familiar heads, one with copper hair, and the other with darker hair. But the clincher was the curls that bounced on opposite sides of the boys' heads. Those two were definitely his beloved grandsons!

Rome excitedly ran through the crowd, seeming to him as if he was pushing people aside. His cute relatives had entered a big building. Squinting at the text, Rome read the words: "Meeting of the World Currently in Progress". A world meeting? Now _that_ certainly hadn't existed in his time. He quickly entered the door just after someone opened it – he couldn't seem to grasp the handle, for some reason, and no one seemed willing to hold the door open. How rude! Didn't they know who he was?

Inside the building was an oval table, at which were seated many countries. There was one annoying-looking kid with a weird strand of hair that bobbed above his hairline; another that looked rather like the annoying kid, but nicer and a strand of hair that curled downward, as well as a white bear in his arms; a strange blond man with caterpillars on his forehead… wait a minute… dear Lord, those were his eyebrows!; there were his cute grandsons, France and Spain, and of course – Veneziano and Romano. He waited a moment, and burst into the room fully, striking a pose and shouting:

"It is I, the great Roman Empire, back from the afterlife! Please, hold your applause for later! Oh, go ahead and clap now, I don't mind at all!"

No one said anything. In fact, it seemed that no one had heard him. Perhaps he wasn't close enough. Coming several yards closer, he repeated the scene. Still no one reacted. Rome frowned. Something was wrong here. He walked to where his cute grandsons were sitting (though Veneziano was doing more fidgeting than sitting), and waved a hand in front of their faces. They did nothing, said nothing. He frowned again and attempted to place a hand on Veneziano's shoulder, only to stare in shock.

His hand didn't connect with the body. It went right through.

So _this_ was what God had meant when he said 'spirit form'. So no one could see or hear him? And to top it off, he couldn't touch anything?

He sat on the floor heavily – or as heavily as one could when one was a ghost. How would he contact his beloved grandsons now?

The meeting had begun, and the annoying kid was yelling something about robots. What in the heavens was a robot? Bored, Rome started hovering around the room, having some fun floating from above.

* * *

It seemed that the meeting was coming to a close now. Rome hovered behind his cute grandsons as they packed away papers and talked of pasta and tomatoes. As he did so, he noticed the man with caterpi—um, thick eyebrows, staring at him. No, it must have been that he was staring at Veneziano or Romano; after all, Rome was invisible to everyone else. Knowing this, he sarcastically waved at the blond man and stuck his tongue out.

And then his eyes widened when the blond man stuck his tongue back at him and waved as well.

Rome glanced around. No one else seemed to see him, so he drifted closer to the man and whispered, "You can see me?"

He nodded. "And hear you, for that matter. That was quite a ridiculous entrance you made earlier, by the way."

"England~! Who are you talking to?"

Rome and England both looked at Veneziano, who had come up next to them. England coughed. "Ahm, no one. Run along now, Italy, I'm sure you have pasta to make."

Italy ran away screaming, "Romanooo! England's being scary! He knew that I had pasta to make but I didn't tell him that!"

Rome stared after him. He was kind of a wimp, but… he was just so _cute_…

England cleared his throat. "Let's talk. We can wait here until everyone's cleared out."

* * *

"So," said England, settling into a chair (Rome hovered just above one), "you're Sir Roman Empire, correct?"

"Of course," said Rome, puffing out his chest. "After all, everyone knows the great Rome!"

"Not only that, but I seem to remember you kidnapping me when I was a small child and forcing me to live in your house." England scowled.

Rome thought. Come to think of it… "So _you_ were that ugly little kid with huge eyebrows?"

"Watch your tongue."

"_Si_, _si_…"

"May I ask why you've come down to Earth from the afterlife?"

"Now, that one's easy!" exclaimed Rome. "I wanted to talk to my cute grandsons! But they can't see me…" he slumped down and sighed. "If only someone would help me…"

A moment passed and he looked up at England, saying again "If only someone would help me…" slightly louder this time.

Another moment passed and Rome was about to say it again, but England spoke before he could: "I'll help you, but only because I know you'll be bugging me forever if I don't."

Rome broke into a huge grin. "Ah, _grazie_, _grazie_~!"

England leaned back in his chair and thought. Rome fidgeted (just like Italy), but remained silent. England eventually sat back up and explained his plan for contacting Veneziano and Romano. Rome grinned, already liking the plan.

* * *

**Can you guess what the plan is? *wiggles eyebrows creepily***


	2. Epilogue

"Are you sure this will work?" asked Rome, hovering near the ceiling as England read a book and drew two small identical circles on the ground.

"Yes, now shut up, or do you not want to see your grandsons?"

Rome shut up.

England finished drawing the circles and snapped the book shut. "Alright now – so you go stand, or hover, I suppose, over in that circle… and I'll stand here." Rome floated over to the circle opposite England's while the latter stood in the center and raised his hands.

"Stay quiet," he ordered. He cleared his throat and began chanting:

"_Yb eht rewop fo lluksyerg… i evah eht rewop… yb eht rewop fo lluskyerg… i evah eht rewop…_"

Both circles began to glow with an eerie, sea-green light. There was a sudden flash, like a power surge, and Rome was gone. England lay on the ground, unconscious.

He suddenly sat up and looked around. He pushed himself off of the floor and dusted off the seat of his pants. He cautiously took a couple of steps before smiling.

"Well, what do you know," said the Roman Empire, speaking through England's body. "It worked!"

_Of course it worked. I'm the bloody United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Why wouldn't it work?_

"Wah! Where in the Hell did that come from?" Rome / England looked around nervously.

_I'm still in here, you idiot. I can see and hear everything you can_.

"Oh. In that case, could you give me directions to my grandsons' house from this… hotel?"

_Yes, of course I will. First, walk outside._

* * *

After several missteps, many times where he almost walked into the street, and one incident where he stepped on a cat, Rome stood in front of the Italies' house.

"Are you sure this is the place?"

_Yes, I'm sure._

"Wonderful!" Rome / England bounded up the steps and opened the door. The delicious smell of simmering sauce and pasta reached him and led him to the kitchen, where Veneziano was stirring the sauce and Romano watching the pasta. The latter looked up upon his arrival and shrieked.

"W-What the hell are you doing here, tea bastard!?" Veneziano looked up as well and shrieked.

"Uwah! England! If you want pasta, we can give it to you! Don't hurt us!"

"And don't take any of the tomatoes!"

"If he wants the tomatoes, he can have them, Romano!"

Rome stared at them. "Veneziano, Romano, it's _me_! Try to look past this ugly face and see me!"

_Hey!_

Veneziano stared at England. "England? What d'you mean?"

"Shut up! He's trying to throw us off-track, Veneziano!"

"No! It's _me_…" Rome / England took a step forwards. "Your _nonno_!"

That stopped the Italies in their tracks. Veneziano looked very sad. "Grandpa Rome? England, that's not nice… Grandpa died a long time ago."

"But I'm serious! It's me, your _nonno_! Veneziano, remember when I taught you how to draw?"

"You didn't do that, England! My _nonno_ did!" Veneziano looked close to tears now.

"If you're really _nonno_," said Romano, scowling, "then you can do me a favor and tell me why the Hell you didn't pay any attention to me!"

Rome looked sadly at Romano. "Oh, Roma, I wanted to, but I disappeared so soon after I finished teaching Veneziano that I didn't have any time! I'm sorry, Roma!"

"D-don't call me Roma. And I'm still not convinced!"

_You could do something that only you would do with them, something that I wouldn't know about._

Rome thought for a minute, then walked up to his grandsons and pulled them both into a tight hug. After a few seconds, he pulled back and ruffled their hair. Then he said, "You're – both – so – cute~!" He paused. "Remember how I used to do that? Do you believe me now?"

Veneziano stared at him for a moment. "There's no way England could know that _nonno_ used to do that with us…" he said to himself. Then his face lit up. "_Nonno_, it's really you~! Romano, it's _nonno_!"

Romano hesitated. "_N… nonno_?"

Rome / England nodded.

Veneziano and Romano hugged him, and he hugged back. The Italies stepped back eventually and stared at him. "So why do you look like England?" Veneziano tilted his head curiously.

"Well, he said that it was… um… what did you say it was?"

_Two spirits in one body; it's sometimes known as possession._

"Oh yeah, possession."

Romano suddenly looked confused. "Wait a minute; the tea bastard is still in there? And he can hear us? And see us?"

"That's what he said," Rome said, shrugging.

"This is freaky…"

"Say, isn't that water boiling over?"

Romano and Veneziano freaked out and quickly turned down the burner. "Oh, it looks like it's done!" said Veneziano happily. "_Nonno_, do you want to eat with us?"

"I'd be happy to eat with my favorite grandsons~!"

* * *

"Mm… this is delicious!" Rome took another bite of the pasta. "You two are so good at cooking~!"

"_Grazie, nonno_!"

The doorbell rang at that point, playing a church-bell version of _Il Canto Degli Italiani_. Rome jumped and looked around. "Hah? What was that?"

"That's the doorbell, _nonno_! I'll get it!" Veneziano jumped up and ran to the door. Romano and Rome heard him say, "Oh, hi, big brother France! Are you just visiting…? Okay, come on in!"

He came back in with France following. Romano glared at him. "Veneziano, why'd you let that wine bastard in here!?"

"But _fratello_…"

Just then France spotted Rome / England sitting at the table. "_Angleterre_? What on Earth are you doing here?"

Rome grinned and waved. "Hello, France! I haven't seen you in a while! How's my grandson doing?"

France stared, and then turned to the Italies for an explanation. "Would you two mind explaining?"

"Oh, well, that's not England, big brother France! It's _nonno_!"

"…_excusez-moi_?"

"That's _nonno_ Rome inside England~!"

France stared at England. "_Grand-pere_? Is that really you?"

"Of course it is!"

_Tell him from me that he's a git._

"…and this ugly man says that you're a git."

_Will you stop calling me ugly!_

"I see…" France smiled. "This certainly is An Unusual Occurrence."

"_Ve_~ I think so, too… oh, do you want some pasta?"

"Uh, _non_, I just finished my dinner… _merci_, though."

"Say, _nonno_," said Romano, turning to Rome / England, "how long are you going to be there?"

"Well… God told me that I had forty-eight hours… so I could stay here until noon the day after tomorrow!"

"We can show you around, _nonno_~!"

"That sounds lovely~!"

* * *

For the next day, Veneziano and Romano spent their time showing their grandpa around. They visited the Pantheon, the Coliseum, the Trevi Fountain… all sorts of old structures from the time of the great Roman Empire.

Until noon was fast approaching on the last day. Italy and Romano held Rome's – or rather, England's – hands tightly.

"_Nonno_, I don't want you to go!" cried Veneziano.

"W-We're gonna miss you, dammit…"

Rome squeezed back. "I'm going to miss you, too… but we'll all meet in _paradiso _one day, you hear? We'll meet there one day! But hopefully not too soon…"

He leaned in and hugged them both, then pulled back and ruffled their hair. "You're – both – so –"

The clock struck noon.

The last word was not uttered before Rome's spirit left England's body and rose up towards the heavens. "_Arrivederci, _Veneziano, Romano…" he called.

Back on solid ground, England came back in control of his body. He found his lips pursed, ready to say the word 'cute'. Quickly shutting them, he awkwardly took his hands off of the Italies' heads and nodded. "Well, goodbye, then."

They watched England walk away. Veneziano started to cry on Romano's shoulder.

* * *

~Fin~

* * *

**I deviated slightly from my original plan, which involved Rome (in England's body) waking up the Italies in the middle of the night... heh...**


End file.
